so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Sober January is a disaster.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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