you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
