If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize