If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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