1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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