Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize