thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
