my soul wont recognize me after tonight
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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