im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
