The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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