What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
