I wish I could teleport
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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