I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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