My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
so much tequila, so little girl.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
