Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I understand Curling. That high.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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