I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
ttyl tear gas
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
