That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
