shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
