i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize