Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize