I like to think it a success when the cops are called
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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