Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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