I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
