i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
