What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
