It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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