When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
