our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
