you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
