I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
