I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize