It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
