I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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