the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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