As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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