Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
And then he peed in my hair
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
