also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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