You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
