would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
