Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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