I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize