I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
