is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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