I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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