I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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