i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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