her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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