Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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