she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Is it because I queefed?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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