It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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