I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
vagina is talking i cant
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize