i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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