omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We need a shit load of segways right now
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
