If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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