Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
