I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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