I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
